Paradigms are how we see and interpret the world. What we see affects our actions. What we do directly influences what we get.
|This classic optical illusion is a good example of a paradigm shift. Whether you see the old woman or young woman first, once you see the other, you can't possibly look at the image the same way again. Your view has been altered.|
I was ruminating on my post about Matt's race, and the insight I had about Matt's reaction to finishing 32 miles compared to my reaction to finishing 26.2.
|Matt's look of determination and grit...|
|...my look of pure disbelief and joy.|
Despite all I've accomplished, I still see myself as a weak runner. This is my paradigm, even though I hadn't really realized I believed it until Tuesday.
I didn't always feel this way. In 2012-2013, I was PR'ing like crazy and I knew I was awesome. When and how did this negative paradigm take over? Why did I let it?
Here's the other part of the paradigm shift: I began allowing myself to slack off and make excuses for the sake of enjoying running again after too much overtraining, but now I'm tired of the lack of drive. My "take it easy" mentality has turned into self-doubt, because I haven't been pushing myself enough. So this paradigm is a cage of my own making.
Anyway, turning these thoughts over in my head has helped me come to a decision about next year. I won't be running a marathon in 2016. I'm going to go back to 5k and 10k races, with the occasional half thrown in. And I'm tired of letting myself coast. I want to focus on making improvements where they really count for the long haul.
Rather than running long, I want to refocus on running fast.
(I'm still really excited about my marathon this year! Don't get me wrong. But I'm definitely ready to step back into shorter distances and focus on fundamentals once BDR is in the bag.)
Have you ever experienced a paradigm shift?